Poem 2

Destruction Part II - The Other Side
by Esperança Cardoso © September 28, 2009
Whispering waves along the shore coaxed me,

like the gentle voice of a mother waking her sleeping child.
slowly, slowly I opened my eyes.
the sun was warm on my face
blindingly brilliant
realization washed over me like a spring rain
I faced the worst and I am still here
Joy flooded my being from top to bottom

I struggled to my feet.
darkness had done its worst
darkness had closed in
darkness had engulfed me
but I made it back to life
I made it back to light
I made it back to joy
Nothing weighing me down
I looked up, raised my hand towards heaven and shouted

“I AM HERE!”

Poem

Feeling "poetic" today for some reason. I warn you though, it's not of the light hearted variety...

Destruction - Part 1
Esperança Cardoso © July 9, 2009


Black holes of the soul, dark and gaping. Always being filled, never being satisfied.
Unnamed restlessness longing, crying out.
Parched greedy lips, drink thirstily from cups overflowing with… emptiness.
Leaky dams plugged up with index fingers while the waters rage all around.
Broken places covered over with tattered sheets as moth, rust and light creep beneath the folds
Corrupting what lies beneath
The chasm opens ever wider, demanding more, consuming all, hungering for still more
Floods sweep overhead drowning; arms flailing, heart pounding, out of control.
Weak pleas, choked cries for help; Does anyone hear? Does anyone see?
Is this all there is after all?
Light is so far away, a distant memory.
Lightning flashes, thunder crashes. Waves rise and fall. Is this all?
Riding currents, helpless, hopeless. Surrender is imminent - Yes, surrender
Eyes closed. The darkness is now complete…(to be continued)

Reconnecting...

There I was minding my own business on Facebook when I get a friend request. This person wasn't a mutual friend of any of my other friends. Hmmm... Still his face looked familiar... like someone I once went to school with... so I broke my own rule and accepted his friend request.

Finally curiosity got the best of me so I sent him a message asking if he ever lived in WV. He did! It was indeed my old friend from 3rd grade! I was totally blown away because I went to 2 different elementary schools in 2 different states, and I left the school we attended together in 5th grade.

Moving around so much made me very good at remembering names and faces quickly and for a long time. I tired to make my friendships count because I never knew when the church would move us again. Through the years, I wondered (and still do) what one person was doing or where another person was now. One of the friends I was never able to forget was the same guy who sent me the random friend request. On top of that he said that he'd often thought of me through the years and wondered how I was and what I was doing! I was so touched when he told me how much my friendship had meant to him all those years ago!

Long story short, we've 45 minutes away from each other for the past several years and we never knew it. So yesterday morning we met for the first time in 34 years, and suddenly I'm hugging my old pal, sitting across from him catching up over over eggs and juice, laughing over shared memories. We laughed about how we didn't feel as old as our parents had seemed at our age. For moment time stood still and it was as though we'd never been apart. It was almost surreal.

This is one of several friends that I've reconnected with over the past year or two, and the one that goes back the furthest. I'm not sure why we've come back into one anothers' lives, but I have no doubt it's for a reason. I'm looking forward to what's to come...

Words = Power

I can not tell you when my love affair with words began. I can say that ever since I can remember I've been a lover or words. Whether written, spoken or sung, I have always known that words contain power even before I knew how to articulate it.

I'm not the only one who thinks so. There are countless quotes out there about the power of our words:

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or evil.” Siddhartha Gotoma or Buddha (563-483 B.C.)

“Quite simply, what you say is the single biggest factor that determines your happiness.”
Irwin Katsof Executive Director Jerusalem Fund of Ashish HaTorah, author.

Kind words are a creative force, a power that concurs in the building up of all that is good, and energy that showers blessings upon the world. Lawrence G. Lovasik (1913- present) Clergyman

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue” wrote wise King Solomon, Proverbs 18:21

"Writing has an almost magical power: Words on paper, created by ordinary citizens, have overthrown governments and changed the course of history." ~ Joel L. Swerdlow

You get the idea. Many of us still feel the effects of words that have been spoken to or about us over the years. Likewise we have seen the effects of our words on others whether good or bad. Words have power and it's up to us to decide if we will use them for good of for evil, to hurt or to heal.

With this in mind, I have never been able to take the title "writer" lightly. While my words may not impact the masses, I realize they will impact whoever sees them and so I take great care in choosing them very carefully. My intent is always to bless and to build up; to encourage and to inspire. If I haven't accomplished these things, then my writing is in vain as far as I'm concerned.

Maybe this is why I shied away from the label for so long. Behind the title I saw the responsibility connected to it and I knew I lacked the maturity necessary to assume it. Now, however, I embrace it. I can't begin to describe the joy that rushes through me when someone tells me they were positively affected by something I said or something I wrote.

Yeah, words have power. They can cross barriers, bring understanding, right wrongs... power! Here's hoping more of us will choose to use our power for the good.

Stepping Out On Faith

There is a scene in the 3rd Indiana Jones movie "The Last Crusade" where Harriso... I mean Indy has to cross a wide cavern only there's no bridge... at least not a visible one. Not crossing is not an option so he literally steps out onto nothing and solid ground appears under his feet. With each step he took more ground would appear under his feet. As I sat there fascinated by the concept, I didn't fail to notice a few things: First, the ground only appeared where he stepped; Second, there was nothing to indicate there would be any ground to meet him when he took the next step, he only had the ground behind him to fuel his faith; and Third, each step was an act of trust on his part that the ground would be there. It was great stuff!

That was 1989, but I have never forgotten that scene. In fact, I have had many occasions to apply those principles in my own life. Like the time I applied for the Hurston-Wright Writer's week with no money and 25 pages of a novel. Boy, was that ever a step of faith for me. I took that step and not only was I accepted, but the money literally appeared (a check in the mail - no lie) just in time! To date, it was one of the best experiences of my writing life, but had I never taken the step... I would never have known.

Then there was my move from Maryland to Pennsylvania with no job, no place to live, and no transportation. Even so, I knew this was something I was supposed to do so I took that step. I was able to stay with a family friend (the only person I knew there), I got a job within a month and a virtual stranger who lived near me and worked in the same department offered to take me to and from work until I got settled! Three months later, I had an apartment, a job and the car soon followed! Again something I wouldn't have experienced if I had not taken a step.

With such strong examples behind me, you would think launching a professional blog would be no big deal... not so! I hesitated about this for months. Those who write can relate to the anxiety that comes with sharing your writing with the world. For me it's akin to someone stripping me naked and forcing me to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue during rush hour! (I'm shuddering at that thought and you should be too!) Yes, it is just that intense. The doubts assault my mind like machine gun fire... What do I have to say that anyone wants to hear? Am I really a writer or should I keep my day job? What if no one "gets" it? On and on the doubts danced in time to the haunting chants of "what ifs" swirling through my brain.

At some point, however... actually at this very point in time, I make a decision to take a step of faith. I can't wait to see what kind of ground shows up under my feet!